"Magic Mike XXL" or "The year of the horrible idea" by Ralla

My horrible idea of the day was to invite several of my movie going girlfriends to view "Magic Mike XXL" on a Sunday afternoon.  I  warned them that it has gotten poor reviews and was attended mostly by women (97%), but this bunch was game.  The original "Magic Mike" was great fun, in large part due to the hilarious presence of Matthew McConaughey as the guru to the troup of male strippers.  As I recall (it's been several years since I've seen it) there were raunchy lite scenes, but nothing too objectionable.  The plot was thin, but nobody cared.  It was more than worth the price of admission.

"Magic Mike XXL" (or as Steve has renamed it "Magic Mike XXs") bore little resemblance to the fun frolic of the first film.  I am a complete Channing Tatum fan--he's a great dancer and could charm the sock off a snake.  But his adorable smile and occasional dance performances could not save this sinking ship.  I wanted to cry out to him & all the other actors "Do the opposite of what your director is asking you to do!  Unite in solidarity in refusing to say even one more line of your script!"

50% of the dialogue was the word "fuckin'".  It was the primary verb, adjective, and adverb throughout.  Aside from that, though, I want to share some of my favorite lines:

In response to "What are you doing" as he passed his hands over the injured driver of the van, the Matt Bomer character said "Reiki--I'm a level 3 healer."

The hapless Donald Glover character got some of the best lines.  The first was "I just want to stay authentic" followed by "we're like healers or something, man." 

The morning after question from the male stripper group to anyone dragging into the kitchen for coffee was "Did you bang--ee?"

And my personal favorite spoken with an impeccable Georgia southern drawl by Andie MacDowell "I've had only one penis my entire fucking life."


This pornish film even sustained a reference to "the glass slipper."  I can't bring myself to elaborate.  You will have to suffer through this film like I did for that pay off.